Sunday, October 7, 2012

classification essay rewritten

     when i first walked into the dojo to see if i wanted to take the class. I noticed how people acted and i already could tell who to stay away from. There were the people who liked to practice on one side in a group. There were people who were talking and slacking in another. There were also people who thought they were to good to work with someone.  The teacher seemed to know what groups to keep an eye on. The Model student the one that never lets it go to his head, is humble, and wants to learn. Then there is the Doesnt care student. He is the one that comes to class for something to do and mess around and doesnt have passion for it. The last and the one i hate the most is the Ill Beat Anyone I Fight type. The one that thinks because he know martial arts he will never lose there is no one that can beat him.
      The one type of student i liked and didnt run into them much was the Model student. My friend Cam was a black belt in multiple martial arts. When he come and started to take my Judo class he wasnt all high and mighty and the first thing i remember him saying is "i want to start from the bottom and work my way up." also at a time in my life when i was tired of being bullied he would tell me that i need to practice my art form to take my mind off it, and it is a good way to relieve stress. He was always in class and never talked or disrupted class. He helped anyone he could. He asked questions no matter if they made him seem that he was slow. He put in more effort then most of the kids in the class. He was my ideal role model and i wanted to be able to be like him when it came to passion and being a martial artist.
      The type i seemed to run into a lot was the kids that were forced to take the class by parents that thought it would help them learn respect, self control, and become more positive. this was the I Don't Care student. They type that was being called out in class to be silent. Being made to do push ups. The perfect example was someone from my high school joey. One day he showed up late to class and didnt bow in or ask the sensi if he could come onto the mat. He walked right in with a messed up uniform and started to talk to one of his other friends. This is where my teacher said leave the class and dont come back. Im tired of having someone disrupt the others when they are trying to better themselves and also dealing with someone who doesn't even want to be here. The kid had the gual to say "finally was wondering when i could be done i hate doing things im forced to." it dumb founded me.
      If you think the last one was the worse in my opinion i would take ten of those guys over one of these guys. The I Beat Anyone I Fight type. I used to watch my friend when he was taking Karate to see if i wanted to take it also. The one kid i will never forget was James. He never failed to amaze me. One day i was watching class when a mew person was being introduced to the class. The person being introduced i knew because he also had three other black belts. The teacher asked who would like to have a sparring match with the new student. James said "I will easy win. hahahhahahaha!" thats when the new guy got serious. It was over in a flash. "Start" the teacher said and two kicks to the face as fast as i could see came from the new guy and hit James in the chin and James was out. What amazed me was not his attitude was the fact that he came back the next day and said "I let him win and i never lose when im trying."
   When im in class im there to learn so i get irritated when someone else interrupts or disrupts class. I tend to practice a lot more then everyone else and i like to learn all i can about the art form i am taking. I dont talk in class and i like to help anyone i can. I also ask a lot of questions no matter what it is.

2 comments:

  1. I'm going to give you a couple of specific things to do before I take this.

    1) Drop all of this in graf 1: "When i was taking martial arts i ran into all sorts of people weather it be friends or people i don't know. They all had different reasons and different personalities for taking martial arts. After a while i found out that they all fell into three different categories I waited for a little and for three years i tried to find a different category to put people in, but alas it failed and managed to say there are three." It doesn't add or do anything.

    Instead, write a short description of what a stranger would see--what you saw--the first time you ever entered a martial arts studio. That's going to be the first part of graf 1.

    2) Drop all of graf 5. Write a 2-4 sentence description of which category you think you fit in and that will be your outro.

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  2. Great--that tightens up the opening and gives the reader a chance to visualize it, and the outro puts you into the classification scheme and loops back to the new opening too. I'll take it.

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